This time of year is hard for us. We see all these posts about honoring your amazing mothers. But what is never recognized is that not all mothers are amazing.
There are actually A LOT of children and adult children out there who suffer each year with emotional and physical abuse from the one person who is always supposed to provide you with unconditional love. It is a VERY confusing, crushing, and damaging life to live.
So I wanted to write this post to say this.
You’re NOT alone.
For years I felt crazy with the feelings that I felt from my own trauma. I felt like since all my other friends were SO close with their moms and their moms were SO loving that obviously something was wrong with me. I wasn’t lovable. But I now know what was wrong and it had NOTHING to do with me. Finding other people that had lived my experiences has shown me that I am not alone and that I can move past my baggage.
It’s okay to feel upset.
NEVER beat yourself up for feeling mad or sad at Mother’s Day. You have EVERY right to feel negative emotions. Just don’t let them KEEP you down.
You don’t owe anyone anything.
The BEST part about holidays is that you can choose which ones you will celebrate and which ones you won’t. Many people will ask you what you’re doing for your mother for Mother’s Day and it’s okay to say I do not recognize that holiday. You do NOT owe anyone anything. If they want to press on, just say there is complicated history that I would rather not discuss.
In my experiences, the people I have met that have come from a terrible past of emotional and/or physical abuse are some of the most caring, empathetic, and wise people I have ever met. So I ask everyone, to be mindful of how hard you judge someone that does not fawn over Mother and Father’s Day because chances are there is a very good reason for it.