Marriage is full of lessons. When you spend your life with someone, you learn new things about them and yourself all the time. Sometimes it is hard. Sometimes it is perfect. But it is always work.
It seems like more and more, people don’t really want to put work and effort into relationships. Cheating, divorce, and “friends with benefits” are all becoming MUCH more common.
I am 27 years old. When I was 19, I married my soul mate. Whenever I reminisce about the past 8 years of our relationship there is ONE important lesson that stands out to me.
This lesson changed my whole relationship.
So what was this magical lesson? Saying I’m sorry.
I remember maybe a year or two into our marriage. We were going through some rough times financially. It was straining our relationship. We were also still pretty new at the whole marriage thing. And I don’t care who you are and how happy you are… ALL COUPLES FIGHT. You can’t live with someone every single day and not want to wring their necks sometimes.
Well one day, hubby and I were in a pretty “heated discussion” and he said to me “One thing that you don’t do is say I am sorry enough.” Of course as a hot-headed, emotional female I may or may not have spazzed out a bit. How dare you accuse me of such terrorism!
But you know what?
I stormed out of the room and pouted for a bit… After I was done licking my wounds, the light bulb lit up. He was totally right.
My family was never good at apologies. It was basically.. You piss someone off and avoid them for a bit. Then do something nice to make up for it and pretend it never happened. THAT is what I was used to.
I did not realize that my upbringing had managed to turn me into this unapologetic spoiled brat. Looking back on that lesson, I realize it was one of those pinnacle moments.
I became more conscious of how I treated my significant other.
Saying sorry isn’t the full moral here. It’s just respecting your partner AND being able to admit when you’re wrong. People are just so flighty and touchy these days. There isn’t a whole lot you can say that isn’t going to be taken the wrong way by someone. But if you actually take a few seconds to cool down and be completely honest with yourself, you may realize that there is a little truth in the things someone says about you or your relationship. Take it as constructive criticism.
Since then, I have made it clear to my husband that no matter how angry I may get, I always want him to tell me the truth. His brutal honesty changed my whole outlook on myself and our relationship. I will be forever grateful for that, as well as the strength I had to change myself.
What has your biggest lesson been in your marriage and how long have you been married? Leave a quick comment, I would love to hear from you!